Monday, January 09, 2006

creat-a-lot intelligent design

(More or less) what Glenn Murcutt said at his conference in Monterrey : "If there are 3 basic human needs: eating, shelter and clothing... something is not quite right when there are 10 times more lawyers than architects on the yellow pages (in some countries)."

I can't fint the exact quote, but Hooper attributed this (more or less) to Woody Allen: Lawyers are so despicable, that they turn something so beautiful like "mother" into "mother-in-law".

Well... maybe I am not that intelligent to understand why the matter of intelligent design and what should and/or souldn't be taught at primary schools is now being fought at a court house and being left on the hands of lawers. Those poor primary school teachers didn't expect a kind of spanish inquisition.
    Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four* *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... (pics)

Let's review what "objective" ID and Evolutionist's lawers are arguing: (via)

    ID lawyer: Look, this isn't an argument.
    E lawyer: Yes it is.
    ID lawyer: No it isn't, it's just contradiction.
    E lawyer: No it isn't.
    ID lawyer: It is.
    E lawyer: It is not.
    ID lawyer: Look, you contradicted me.
    E lawyer: I did not.
    ID lawyer: Oh you did.
    E lawyer: No, no, no.
    ID lawyer: You did just then.
    E lawyer: Nonsense.
    ID lawyer: Oh, this is futile.
    E lawyer: No it isn't.
    ID lawyer: I came here for a good argument.
    E lawyer: No, you didn't. No, you came here for an argument.
    ID lawyer: An argument isn't just contradiction.
    E lawyer: It can be.
    ID lawyer: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
    E lawyer: No it isn't.
    ID lawyer: Yes it is. It's not just contradiction.
    E lawyer: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
    ID lawyer: But that's not just saying, "No it isn't."
    E lawyer: Yes it is.
    ID lawyer: No it isn't. An argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
    E lawyer: No it isn't.
    ID lawyer: Yes, It is.
    E lawyer: Not at all...

    (note to myself: this reminds me some of my students)

This transcript from the court hearing demonstrates that we're not getting more intelligent... we are only getting contradictory. (ID: No, we don't) Intelligent doesn't mean being smart... or does it? I guess, we better ask an Intelligent Design Scientist about their theories: (via)

    'Thrust' Presenter: Good evening. I have with me tonight Anne Elk. Mrs. Anne Elk.
    I.D. scientist: Miss.
    'Thrust' Presenter: You say you have a new theory about the brontosaurus
    I.D. scientist: Can I just say here Chris for one moment that I have a new theory about the brontosaurus.
    'Thrust' Presenter: Exactly.
    [long pause]
    Well, what is it?
    I.D. scientist: [looks around, concerned] Where?
    'Thrust' Presenter: No, no, your new theory.
    I.D. scientist: Oh, what is my theory?
    'Thrust' Presenter: Yes.
    I.D. scientist: Oh, what is my theory that it is. Well, Chris, you may well ask me what is my theory.
    'Thrust' Presenter: I am asking.
    I.D. scientist: Good for you. My word yes. Well, Chris, what it is that it is - this theory of mine. Well, this is what it is - my theory that I have, that is to say, which is mine, is mine.
    'Thrust' Presenter: Yes, I know it's yours, what is it?
    I.D. scientist: [looks round again] Where? Oh, what is my theory? This is it.
    [clears her throat at length]
    My theory that belongs to me is as follows.
    [clears her throat very noisily and violently]
    This is how it goes. The next thing I'm going to say is my theory. Ready?

    'Thrust' Presenter: [exasperated] Yes.
    I.D. scientist: My theory by A. Elk, brackets, Miss, brackets. This theory goes as follows and begins now. All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much much thicker in the middle, and then thin again at the far end. That is my theory, it is mine, and it belongs to me, and I own it, and what ist is, too.
    'Thrust' Presenter: That's it, is it?
    I.D. scientist: Spot on, Chris.
    'Thrust' Presenter: Well, uh, this theory of yours appears to have hit the nail on the head.
    I.D. scientist: And it's mine.

    Read the complete interview HERE.

Now. To understand the evolution theory, we researched 2 of the most reliable sources on Darwin's theories: The Darwin Awards and Doctor M.C. Hawking. Here's their plain simple explanation:
    "Consider that there are three requirements for evolution to occur. First, a species must show diversity. For example, some people are taller than others. Second, there must be a selective pressure working on this trait. If people live among trees, and tall people whack their heads on branches and kill themselves more frequently than their shorter fellows, then short people will have a survival advantage. Third, the trait must be inheritable. On average, short people have shorter children than tall people, so evolution favors short people in this example. Within a few generations, our species would become shorter, and it would also become better at evading low branches."

something went wrong
    IDS: Yes, but that's not just saying "No it isn't."
    M.C. Hawking: Yes it is!
    IDS: No, it isn't...
M.C. Hawking should review his theories about science, enthropy and creation, before he gets an unexpected visit from a kind of spanish inquisition...
    NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!... Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope...and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!

-OK. It's time to say goodbye
-No, it is not...

P.S. My lawyer advised me to include the following disclaimer: Most quotes are taken from Monty Python Flying Circus... and are not really transcripts of any court (or spanish inquisition) hearings. We also changed the names of the lawyers... so any resemblance with actual conservative or liberal lawyers, is merely coincidental and does not represent in any way their incompetence. If you have any concerns about the scientific theories of M.C. Hawking... you better ask him directly! I also used some copyrighted material from We are also obligued to include the word spam in this paragraph and ultimatelly aknowledge that we pirated some images from The Broken Plank. Ah! thanks also to the International movie database. OK?
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